Mirror Mirror…

I just realized something when I wasn’t able to fall asleep last night (and I was thinking about my ballet class that will not take place today, which is a huge pity). It is a very bad thing in ballet if you don’t like looking at yourself in the mirror. And I just hate it. When putting up my make-up in the morning is probably the only time that I consciously look at myself in the mirror. There are so many things about my face and body that I don’t like, so I am trying to avoid mirrors.

(Of course, this is actually a bad thing if you are working in one of the most competitive environments regarding aesthetics, but so far, I have always managed by being smart and talkable rather than the beautiful gallerina).

Anyways, while wearing my beautiful leotards and ballet skirts, and the pink tights, that I actually don’t have a problem with, I am supposed to look in the mirror: For spotting, to check on my feet, my non-existent turn-out, my smile, and I don’t do it. I just don’t. I look to the ground, and my teacher tells me this is why my pirouettes are so bad; I look at my hands, which is fine; I put my ears to the mirror, and my teacher tells me that the audience wants to see my smile, not my earlobes.

I guess, I will have to confront myself more often. Dare to watch myself.

I think I can learn a lot about life from ballet.

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And it is March

Okay, so it seems I am not the most regular blogger. Do you know that feeling that, the less work you have, the lazier you get? I hate this, so I need a job that gives me a more constant flow of tasks.

But let’s talk about ballet: My three classes per week seem to pay off: I feel that I am making slow, slow, slow progress. Recently, I actually managed to do my very first en dehors pirouette starting from fourth position that could actually be called a pirouette. Of course, the next ten ones were bad again… 😉

It seems so frustrating sometimes: I need to focus on the height of my ankle, make sure my legs are turned out, work the core, relax the shoulders (very difficult for me), use strong arms, and use the head to spot. And those are just the few things I try to control in a turn. By the time I thought them all through, I have already landed on the wrong foot or in the wrong direction. Well, I guess my body will have to get used to it just so much more.