I just realized something when I wasn’t able to fall asleep last night (and I was thinking about my ballet class that will not take place today, which is a huge pity). It is a very bad thing in ballet if you don’t like looking at yourself in the mirror. And I just hate it. When putting up my make-up in the morning is probably the only time that I consciously look at myself in the mirror. There are so many things about my face and body that I don’t like, so I am trying to avoid mirrors.
(Of course, this is actually a bad thing if you are working in one of the most competitive environments regarding aesthetics, but so far, I have always managed by being smart and talkable rather than the beautiful gallerina).
Anyways, while wearing my beautiful leotards and ballet skirts, and the pink tights, that I actually don’t have a problem with, I am supposed to look in the mirror: For spotting, to check on my feet, my non-existent turn-out, my smile, and I don’t do it. I just don’t. I look to the ground, and my teacher tells me this is why my pirouettes are so bad; I look at my hands, which is fine; I put my ears to the mirror, and my teacher tells me that the audience wants to see my smile, not my earlobes.
I guess, I will have to confront myself more often. Dare to watch myself.
I think I can learn a lot about life from ballet.