I really felt so happy after the first ballet class in nine months yesterday night. It is such a good feeling to be in class, to stand at the barre, to hear the music and listen to the teacher’s corrections. No, it isn’t just fun, it is hard work, and I can feel it in my back and legs, but it is work that makes me happy.
Of course I made a lot of mistakes yesterday, and I had difficulties with the combinations. I was out for almost a year. But I felt like I could be part of the class without being too much of a disturbance for everyone else.
I am so much looking forward to next Tuesday!
So, tonight, finally, I am going back to ballet class.
Due to financial problems, I had to skip taking ballet classes for the spring term. This was a harsh cut from three hours of ballet, one and a half hour of modern dance, and one and a half hours of floor barre to – zero. No ballet, no dancing, no nothing. I tried to do some ballet exercises with my DVDs at home, but I hardly ever got the discipline to really do it for longer than just 30 minutes, or for longer than two days in a row. You can imagine what my body looks like…
Anyway, I am back to a little more money, and back to one and a half hours of ballet per week, starting from today. It is the same class that I had taken before my cut. I love the teacher, the time slot, the conditions, I love it all.
But I am so scared to go there today because I know that I will suck. It will be hard to do the pliés, I will not be flexible at all, and everyone will think: Why the hell is she here? I will have to go through that because I know that I can do the class. I will have to be strong tonight and give all I can.
And I am just so happy to be back again, too.